every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
