did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
