my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
