so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
