If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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