I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize