and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
