I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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