Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
