HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
