M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
