So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Everclear isn't food dammit
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize