No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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