He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
