I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
