guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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