Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
