Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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