I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
