Dual....:-)
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
