Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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