I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
