I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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