i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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