He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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