there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
