I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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