you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
