yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
