I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
