I'm eating all of the evidence.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
