I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
