First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
