she was so not down for the gang bang
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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