Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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