it's too hot outside to masturbate.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize