i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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