woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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