Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
