Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
