it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
