all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize