the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
