My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
