Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize