I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
