I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
