why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
