this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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