i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
