So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
