i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
