I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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