Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
