yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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