why didn't you poke me back
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
