I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
