i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
