Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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