went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
