just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
