Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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