so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize